Emo hair in face
One eye covered so you can
Save on eyeliner.

Naked babies: cute.
Naked animals: still cute.
Me naked? Jail time.

I liked my goatee
'Twas devilish and charming
At least I thought so.

Ah, the danish tray
A midnight delicacy
Sadly, they are gone.

Where can I find it?
No matter how hard I look
It still eludes me.

I should change that line
"Updated frequently." Ha!
Lies, I tell you. Lies.

Just so you know I've
Neither gone nor forgotten
I still love haikus.

The problem is change
I've moved, my sleep cycle's off
My routine is screwed.

Keep the average
I'll make a year's worth of 'kus
Going daily failed.

I missed another
I feel like I've failed you all
Not quite excellence.

Almost a full day
Without any internet
Log on to update.

Someone said squirrels
Are more plentiful up here
I just don't see them.

Fewer squirrels here
Sure, I'll see rabbits and deer
Squirrels? Not so much.

Filling in at work
Sure, I'm getting some more time
But it means I'm there.

Impetuous, eh?
I'll have to look that word up
It's not what I thought.

Update just in time
I should be trying harder
To update sooner.

Fight stereotypes
Some of them can be funny
But really, they're bad.

Sure, you won that one
But we'll be ready next time
We'll stop your combo.

Going infinite
It can be quite frustrating
When we're not ready.

Dibs has a limit
You can't just call it and wait
For thirty-five years.

Wanted to steal it
The dresser sat there for weeks
But someone had dibs.

Don't like commuting
Thirty minute drives are lame
Uses too much gas.

Not for the glory
Okay, it's about glory
Increased vocab? Ha!

I play some scrabble
Kick around my coworker
He doesn't do well.

Slacking off at work
More like all my work is done
So, time for haikus.

Often look surprised
Or dazed in the mugshots. Why?
You forgot that part?

A crack of the whip
And donning the fedora
Makes you a legend.

An early midnight
But they release on thursday
We see it tonight!

I'm sick of this place
Every day it's more tense
Wish things were nicer.

Moral dilemma
Professionally, it's right
It's still annoying.

Let loose with your best
It's the only way to go
Dedicate yourself.

I'll be moving soon
Have lots of cleaning to do
And I hate cleaning.

A disappointment
It was pretty good, mostly
Heavy-handed end.

More midnight movies
Have to keep the streak alive
This one will make four.

The jaws of defeat?
Ha! I'll rip them wide open
And grasp what I please.

That's right, I'm a cheat.
I'm using apostrophes
To shorten my words.

Making excuses
You can't get ev'rything right
I'm cheating again.

Just throw your hands out
Reach into the air and fly
The wind will take you.

Late night yet again
When will I learn not to stay
Up beyond the dawn?

Midnight movies rock
Nothing like staying up late
To see the film first.

Distractions arise
They pull you away from things
Can't seem to get back.

Don't let the games win
Sleep is far more important
Set priorities.

It only takes one
Mistake to send you spinning
Life out of your hands.

You had to trip him
A penalty would end it
And that's what you got.

Take a swing, slugger
Out of the park or ground ball
It's all for the team.

Permanence is best
If it sticks around, it wins
Watch it all pile up.

Recurring bad guys
Imprisonment doesn't work
So take the next step.

I made some mistakes
Said some things that I shouldn't.
Can you forgive me?

Can you find your feet?
Or will you lay there, dizzy
Unable to move.

"Shout it to the hills"
What if there aren't any hills?
Have to shout louder?

It's greed that leads them
They're dragged down by the money
Can't beat the system.

Why can't you do it?
We shouldn't be doing it
It's your job, you know.

Sleep in Saturdays
Too, but since I'm up so late
I don't think it counts.

Fridays I sleep in
In the hopes that I catch up
On what I have missed.

All life's great questions
Are not for me to answer
I just write haikus.

Philosophers muse
Day after bright sunny day
I'd rather have fun.

Analyzing life
Only leads to more questions
Just go out and live.

Keep digging deeper
Maybe you'll find what you seek
Or futility.

I love the moments
When nobody gets the joke
But then it hits them.

Almost upsetting
The way things come together
I should start planning.

I hope that's okay
Just because I quote myself
Doesn't make me bad.

Um, I made that up
But I guess I'm somebody
So it still counts, right?

Somebody once said
That haikus are good for you
Healthy poetry.

What to do after
The sunburn has taken you?
I prefer aloe.

Summer is coming
So I recommend sunscreen
Because sunburn sucks.

Why's popcorn awesome?
Even stale popcorn tastes great
What more do you need?

My definition
Of absolute awesomeness:
Popcorn, friends, movies.

Inimitable
A way of haiku so strange
No one copies it.

I hate the nightmares
How am I supposed to sleep
Fleeing from zombies?

It's getting to me
This job is driving me nuts
Gotta keep going.

Honor in fighting?
Just because we've fought for years
It's a noble cause?

Fight or flight response
Adrenaline rushes in
No shame in running.

With just a side step
You slide away from danger
Easily dodging.

We're taking this out
There'll be haikus out there
Haikus all over!

I've never done that
Word extension for effect
It's a bit silly.

When the haikus make
Increasing lines like stairsteps
I really like thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat.

I prefer to mix
Mono-poly-syllabic
That's the way to go.

Monosyllabic
Words can also work out well.
That's one syllable.

Five syllable words
Can make for some sweet haikus
Polysyllabic.

When I go to bed
Sometimes I lie there for days
Feels like that at least.

I can't explain it
But still I stay up so late
Why won't I just sleep?

O pants, where art thou?
Were you lost in adventure
Stolen by wenches?

It's ridiculous
The amount of blind hatred
Get over yourselves.

Sometimes I wonder
Did samurai poets have
Haiku katanas?

The human need to
Identify with nature
Sometimes annoys me.

Wind doesn't whisper
As it flows between the trees
All it does is blow.

People always try
For personification
Just let nature be.

They say brooks babble
But I have never heard this
It's more of a glub.

Pull an all-nighter
Then get in the car and drive
Someone needs a ride.

Squirrels keep fighting
Back and forth they tug at food
Not a mating call.

Momentarily
Thought of self-deprecation
On that one. But, no.

Sometimes you will find
Things you should avoid, such as
Half the internet.

I'm posting on time
Like I really try to do
This one feels wasted.

I didn't perform
As well as I would have hoped
There's always next time.

Well, Ladies and Gents
There's been six months of haikus
And we'll keep going.

Of course when I say
Anything about updates
The next day I blank.

I try to update
Somewhere quite close to midnight
Sometimes it's early.

Exit from coma
I was scared that it was lost
It has awoken.

Why do I stay up?
I need to sleep at some point
Just keep delaying.

Not even tonight
I won't recover that time
There's reading to do.

This is robbery
I'll never get that hour back
Stop stealing my sleep!

Sure, you can party
But don't dare be hung over
Dark consequences.

A dramatic pause
If it goes a bit too long
It means he forgot.

Should be easier
Every time you do it
Too bad it isn't.

Scraping make-up off
Night after night gets tiring.
My face hates it, too.

Don't have enough time
To get done everything
That I need to do.

See? Everything
I can use the whole word, too
No apostrophe.

To these complainers:
I'll try not to use them much
But it's quite handy.

I've gotten complaints
On using apostrophes
To fit in some words.

What is this leap day?
You mean I have to write more?
Fine, an extra 'ku.

Radical changes
To unrecognizable
Okay, not that far.

Joyous work of art
Ev'rything comes together
Just for an instant.

Brain grinds to a halt
Begging me to go to bed
Think I should comply.

These things write themselves
Sometimes I wish that was true
Stop the writer's block!

Mess Ev'rything up
Just by staying up all night
Horrid sleep schedule.

I love the mornings
That I don't set an alarm
Wake up whenever.

I set my alarm
Far earlier than need be
So I can hit snooze.

I procrastinate
Get out of bed just in time
To shower, hit class.

Snooze button's a trick
You might think it will help you
Makes me sleepier.

Slap the snooze alarm
Get an extra 3 minutes
It isn't enough.

Slinging words around
Aim for triple letter score
Scrabble warrior.

Talking again's nice
It makes communication
So much easier.

A day without speech
It can be quite difficult
Interesting, though.

Pleasant surprises
Gifts you didn't see coming
These things make me smile.

Happy Valentine's
Insert singles' awareness
Joke right about here.

Sometimes I worry
That I'll write something that I've
Already written.

I like seeing friends
In the last place you'd expect
Always makes me smile.

I need to sleep more
To get over this illness
Purge the intruder.

Can someone tell me
Why we make more mistakes when
We know that we can?

Party awkwardness:
When you stand around quite bored
Hoping things pick up.

The most boring things
Both take too much time and are
Uninteresting.

Don't you just hate it
When your leg falls asleep but
You still need to walk?

I fight with big trees
Other people use goblins
But wood is more fun.

A staff would be nice
Easier to make great noise
Slamming to the floor.

Other achievements:
I turned a jolly roger
Into a sweet cape.

Greatest Achievements:
I taught my best friend's toddler
To do a high five.

When clothing catches
Sometimes you're pulled to the side
Stumbling awkwardly.

I still get them in
Because innuendo's fun
But sometimes it's hard.

Medical students
Have more opportunities
For innuendo

I'm unaffected
By this writer strike. Almost
Please resolve it soon.

As he turns to leave
He assumes he's safe with us
That's a big mistake.

Sleep invigorates
Sure, you may start out groggy
But you'll recover.

Finally, a bed
I was away for too long
Sleep deprivation.

I'm not getting sleep
At least not nearly enough
Five more minutes please.

So many people
But then the gauntlet begins
Who will stand on top?

Snatch her in mid-flight
And carry her off safely
It's why we rehearse.

The arms lash about
Legs go swinging through the air
Beautiful chaos.

Throw yourself forward
Let the movement take over
No need for control.

Watching the Office
As hilarity ensues
Wish it was my life

Catching up on sleep:
Sometimes you overdo it
And miss half the day.

Missing out on sleep:
Though by no means a good plan
I'm busy with fun

Happy Friday, all
Weekend approaches quickly
Hurry up, have fun!

Weird conversations
These are the things I live for
Awkwardness abounds.

Oh, super powers
How fun it would be to fly
Set fire with my mind.

A grilled cheese sandwich
Add in tuna or turkey
Makes it delicious.

It's too late to feed
The burger joint has closed up
They're not nocturnal.

Illnesses abound
Everyone's getting sick
I will not submit.

The year continues
The syllables keep flowing
There's no end in sight.

Teasing can be fun
Sometimes you're being a jerk
Others, we all laugh.

Just writing haikus
Because a word fits in is
Intolerable

Staying up too late
I think it's overrated
I should go to sleep.

Scrub it from your mind
Forget it ever happened
Ignorance is bliss.

With time dragging by
It feels longer than it is
It's an illusion.

Power outage: lame
Electricity stolen
Updates continue.

Watching someone leave
Disappearing, it's painful
Don't want to let go.

Music piracy:
While not as cool as pirates
It's still illegal.

Ding! Gained a level.
I've gotten better, stronger
Maybe learned new moves.

I have a hard time
Taking things seriously
Lacksidasical.

A new year begins
Start it with those you care for
And keep them all close